“Time out with Brooklyn”

Brooklyn is typing…
Simian, a very hungry man, is badly in need of an emergency loan so he plugs in his dongle and goes online.  He’s informed that a quick and easy chatline will help so he clicks on the link and in a few words describes his desperate need.  After waiting five minutes he’s told that
Brooklyn is typing…
So Simian waits to see what she says.  Five minutes tick by, before he receives the message
Hi Simian, you’re speaking with Brooklyn how may I help?
So Simian repeats what he said before about his desperate need.  Six minutes tick by, before he’s told that
Brooklyn is typing…
More minutes tick by and Simian’s becoming impatient.  But then he receives
Let me look into this for you.
and at last he thinks he’s getting somewhere.  But after five minutes he hears nothing, until finally he’s told that
Brooklyn is typing…
Simian hopes she’s typing something nice.  But after seven minutes he receives this:
Please can you provide me your name address and postcode?
Simian’s heart sinks, but he tows the line and gives his name again along with “No fixed abode”.  He waits five minutes before seeing that
Brooklyn is typing…
As the minutes tick by, Simian becomes anxious, knowing the data on his dongle won’t last forever.  But finally he hears
Hi Simian, how can I help?
Simian’s now breathing hard, his hands are shaking as he types in anger “I already told you twice.  I’m in desperate need of a loan to buy food.”  An eerie silence descends before he sees that
Brooklyn is typing…
More minutes of waiting with baited breath and rumbling stomach, before she says
OK let me look into this for you.
Minutes tick by.  Simian’s stomach is killing him, but has to believe when he sees that
Brooklyn is typing…
But imagine his dismay when after five more minutes he receives this:
Can you give me your name adn (sic) address and postcode?
“I already gave you those details,” replies Simian, not knowing how to convey his exasperation, an exclamation mark maybe, or a sad face or uppercase or bold italic?  But wait,
Brooklyn is typing…
And after three minutes, expeditiously for Brooklyn, she replies
I’m afraid I need a postcode to look into this matter for you.
“But I do not have a postcode because I do not have a house!” says Simian, automatically adding the exclamation mark this time, but
Brooklyn is typing…
and Simian is forcing himself to believe he’s getting somewhere.  Until
Are you currently homeless?
Simian wants to write “Oh for Christ’s sake yes!”  But doesn’t because that would be rude, so he just says “Yes.” And after a few more minutes
Brooklyn is typing…
Once again, Simian is hoping she’s typing something nice.
OK let me lok (sic) into this for you
And once again Simian forces himself to believe.  His belly is rumbling like mad and all he can think of is a burger, some fries maybe, a cup of coffee, anything.  He almost feels sic (sic) with hunger as
Brooklyn is typing…
What is she typing?  Is she typing something delicious?  Something nourishing?  Something to quench his thirst and satisfy his craving gut?
Can I have your previous three addresses?
Almost puking with the hunger and stress of all this, Simian summons the strength to dig deep into his former lives and somehow unearth the details she’s asking for.
Brooklyn is typing…
Oh God, Brooklyn is typing.  What is she typing?  She’s been given everything Simian has to give.  What more can he give except blood?
OK let me look into this, I’m sure I can be of help.
At last!  Simian’s almost tasting the fat and salt of his burger, gorging on the fries that came with it, swilling it all down with coffee so it fills his gut with deliciously wonderful vital carbs.
Brooklyn is typing…
Brooklyn is typing!  Oh God, she is typing, she is typing something nice at last!  Simian is keeping everything crossed, until he sees
Your session is timed out.  Please click on the link and request a chat with one of our advisors.  Thank you.
and Simian’s heart drops deep into his disbelieving belly.  He’s running on empty and so is his dongle.  The meal he just had was only virtual, deliciously wonderful vital carbs that fed only his imagination.
Brooklyn is no longer typing…


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